Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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