I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
