she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
