Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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