Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
