How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
