he puts the penis in happiness.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
