I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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