he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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