3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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