You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
