So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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