Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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