It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
