She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
