I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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