How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
