how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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