worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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