well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
