Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize