look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
