are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
