Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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