I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
