i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
