the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
