Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
