Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Shame - the story of my life.
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