there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
