we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We are all done wearing pants today
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