making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
