Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
