Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
