What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
