He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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