I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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