I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
