chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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