Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
