PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
