I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
