Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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