What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Randomize