batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
