my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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