I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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