My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I'm really busy with my period
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