fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize