i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
home. puking in laundry basket.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
