I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
