apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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