I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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