he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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