Your face is a jimmy john
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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