I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
