Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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