Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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