life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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