The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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