i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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