im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize