a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
