She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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